CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO A CERTAIN ROMANCE

Well oh they might wear classic Reeboks
Or knackered Converse
Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks
But all of that's what the point is not
The point's that there ain't no romance around there
And there's the truth that they can't see
They'd probably like to throw a punch at me
And if you could only see them, then you would agree
Agree that there ain't no romance around there

You know, oh it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like
We'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
Cause their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way

And over there there's broken bones
There's only music, so that there's new ringtones
And it don't take no Sherlock Holmes
To see it's a little different around here

Don't get me wrong, oh there's boys in bands
And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands
And just cause he's had a couple of cans
He thinks it's alright to act like a dickhead

Don't you know, oh it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell em if you like
We'll tell em all tonight
They'll never listen
Cause their minds are made up
And course it's all okay to carry on that way

But I said
No! Oh no!
Well you won't get me to go!
Not anywhere, not anywhere
No I won't go
Oh no no!

Well over there there's friends of mine
What can I say, I've known 'em for a long long time
And yeah they might overstep the line
But I just cannot get angry in the same way
Not, not in the same way
Not in the same way
Oh no, oh no no

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO FROM RITZ TO THE RUBBLE

Last night these two bouncers
And one of em's alright
The other one's the scary one
His way or no way, totalatarian

He's got no time for you
Looking or breathing
How he don't want you to

So step out the queue
He makes examples of you
And there's nowt you can say
Behind they go through to the bit where you pay
And you realise then that it's finally the time
To walk back past ten thousand eyes in the line

And you can swap jumpers and make another move
Instilled in your brain you've got something to prove
To all the smirking faces and the boys in black
Why can't they be pleasant?
Why can't they have a laugh?

He's got his hand in your chest
He wants to give you a duff
Well secrectly I think they want it all to kick off
They want, arms flying everywhere and
Bottles aswell it's just
Something to talk about
A story to tell you

Well I'm so glad they turned us all away we'll put it down to fate

I said a thousand million things that I could never say this morning

Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?

This town's a different town today
Said this town's a different town to what it was last night
You couldn't have done that on a Sunday

That girl's a different girl today
Said that girl's a different girl to her you kissed last night
You couldn't have done that on a Sunday

of course not!

Well I'm so glad they turned us all away we'll put it down to fate

I thought a thousand million things that I could never think this morning

Got too deep, but how deep is too deep?

Last night what we talked about
It made so much sense
But now the haze has ascended
It don't make no sense anymore

(Repeat)

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN

Who's that girl there?
I wonder what went wrong
So that she had to roam the streets
She dunt do major credit cards
I doubt she does receipts
It's all not quite legitimate

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he'll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes,
Yeah, that he's got a driving ban
Amongst some other offences

And I've seen him with girls of the night
And he told Roxanne to put on her red light
They're all infected but he'll be alright
Cause he's a scumbag, don't you know
I said he's a scumbag, don't you know!

Although you're trying not to listen
Overt your eyes and staring at the ground
She makes a subtle proposition
"I'm sorry love I'll have to turn you down"

He must be up to something
What are the chances sure it's more than likely
I've got a feeling in my stomach
I start to wonder what his story might be

They said it changes when the sun goes down
Around here

Look here comes a Ford Mondeo
Isn't he Mister Inconspicuous?
And he don't even have to say 'owt
She's in the stance ready to get picked up

Bet she's delighted when she sees him
Pulling in and giving her the eye
Because she must be fucking freezing
Scantily clad beneath the clear night sky
it doesn't stop in the winter, no
Around here

They said it changes when the sun goes down
Over the river going out of town

What a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he'll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes that he's got a nasty plan
I hope you're not involved at all

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO PERHAPS VAMPIRES IS A BIT STRONG BUT...

Well I've seen your eyes as they fix on me
What is he doing? What on earth's the plan? Has he got one?
You'd better give me some pointers
Since you are the big rocket launcher and I'm just the shotgun

Well I ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes
That might be a surprise but it's true
That I'm not like you and I don't want your advice
Or your praise or to move in the ways you do
And I never will

Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale
And though you pretend to stand by us
I know you're certain we'll fail

Well I've seen your eyes as they flicked on me
Full of confusion
Your snarl is just so condescending
Try to explain that we're onto a win
If you feel we get in
Near recoups what we're spending

He says, I can't believe that you drove all that way
Well how much did they pay ya? How much did they pay ya?
You'd've been better to stay round our way
Thinking 'bout things but not actually doing a thing

Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale
And though you pretend to stand by us
I know you're certain we'll fail

Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale
And though you pretend to stand by us
I know you're certain we'll fail

All you people are vampires!

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO MARDY BUM

Now then Mardy Bum
I've seen your frown
And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there's a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer

It's one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Well now then Mardy Bum
Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I
I thought as much
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can't bear

Can't we laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Yeah I'm sorry I was late
But I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs ,oh when you say I don't care
But of course I do, yeah I clearly do!

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Still it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO RED LIGHT INDICATES DOORS ARE SECURED

Ask if we can have six in
If not we'll have to have two
Well you're coming up at our end aren't you
So I'll get one with you
Oh, won't he let us have six in
Especially not with the food
He could have just told us no though
He didn't have to be rude

You see her with the green dress?
She talked to me at the bar
How come it's already two pound fifty?
We've only gone about a yard
Didn't you see she were gorgeous
She were beyond belief
But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff Ice
Came and paid for her Tropical Reef

But I'm sitting going backwards
And I didn't want to leave
I said it's High Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Well how funny were that sketch earlier
Up at that taxi rank
Oh no you woulda missed it,
I think it were when you went to the bank
These two lads, squaring up, proper shouting
About who was next in the queue
The kind of thing that would seem so silly
But not when they've both had a few

Well calm down, temper, temper
You shouldn't get so annoyed
You're acting like a silly little boy
And they wanted to be men
And do some fighting in the street
(They said) no surrender
No chance of retreat

And so why are we in the taxi?
'Cause I didn't want to leave
I said it's Shire Green mate
Via Hillsborough please

Drunken plots hatched to jump it, ask around are ya sure?
Went for it but the red light was showing
And the red light indicates doors are secured

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO RIOT VAN

So up rolls a riot van
And sparks excitement in the boys
But the policemen look annoyed
Perhaps these are ones they should avoid

Got a chase last night
From men with truncheons dressed in hats
We didn't do that much wrong
Still ran away though for the laugh
Just for the laugh
And please just stop talking
Cause they won't find us if you do
Oh those silly boys in blue
Well they won't catch me and you

Have you been drinking, son
You don't look old enough to me
I'm sorry, officer
Is there a certain age you're supposed to be
Cause nobody told me

And up rolls the riot van
And these lads just wind the coppers up
They ask why they don't catch proper crooks
They get their address and their names took
But they couldn't care less

Thrown in a riot van
And all the coppers kicked him in
And there was no way he could win
Just had to take it on the chin

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO STILL TAKE YOU HOME

Well It's ever so funny
Coz I don't think you're special I don't think you're cool
you're just probably alright
But under these lights you look beautiful
And I'm struggling
I can't see through your fake tan
Oh ya know it for a fact
That everybody's eating outta your hands

What do you know?
Oh you know nothing!
But I'll still take you home
Yeah, I'll still take you home
What do you know?
Oh you don't know nothing!

Fancy seeing you in here
You're all tarted up, and you don't look the same
I haven't seen you since last year
Yeah, surprisingly you have forgotten my name
But you know it
Yeah you knew it all along
Oh you say you have forgotten
But you're fibbin', oh don't tell me I'm wrong

So what do you know?
Oh you know nothing!
But I'll still take you home
Yeah, I'll still take you home
so what do you know?
Oh you don't know nothing, no!

Woaah...

Yeah, I said, what do you know?
Oh you don't know nothing, no!
But I'll still take you home
Yeah, I'll still take you home
I said, what do you know?
Oh you don't know nothing, no!

I fancy you with a passion
You're a Topshop princess, a rockstar too
You're a fad you're a fashion
And i'm havin a job trying to talk to you
But it's alright, put it all on one-side
Cause everybody's looking
You got control of everyone's eyes
Including mine

VIDEO CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T SEE FOR THE LIGHTS BUT YOU WERE LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME

One look sends it coursing through the veins, oh how the feeling races
Back up to their brains to form expressions on their stupid faces
They don't want to say hello, like I want to say hello
My heartbeat's at its peak, when you're coming up to speak

And oh I'm so tense, never tenser
Could all go a bit Frank Spencer
And I'm talking gibberish
Tip of the tongue but I can't deliver it...
Properly
Oh, it's all getting on top of me
And if it weren't this dark
You'd see how red my face has gone, yeah

Everybody's trying to crack the jokes and that to make you smile
Those that claim that they're not showing off are drowning in denial
But they're not half as bad as me, say anything and I'll agree
Cause when it comes to acting up, I'm sure I could write the book

And now that you're more than a part in the play
It's slightly easier to think what to say
You had us all standing on our heads
Doing our best tricks, yeah

Never again
Never again
Will there be another one quite as desirable as you?
One look sends it coursing through the veins, oh how the feeling races
Back up to their brains to form expressions on their stupid faces

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO DANCING SHOES

Get on your dancing shoes
There's one thing on your mind
Hoping they're looking for you
Sure you'll be rummaging' through

And the shit, shock, horror
You've seen your future bride
Oh, but it's oh so absurd
For you to say the first word
So you're waiting and waiting

The only reason that you came
So what you scared for?
don't you always do the same
It's what you there for, don't you know

…the lights are flashing
Down in here tonight
And some might exchange a glance
But keep pretending to dance

Don't act like it's not happening
As if it's impolite
To go and mention your name
Instead you'll just do the same
As they all do, and hope for the best...

The only reason that you came
So what you scared for?
Well don't you always do the same
It's what you're there for but no

Get on your dancing shoes
You sexy little swine
Hoping they're looking for you
Sure you'll be rummaging through

Oh and the shit, shock, horror
You've seen your future bride
Oh, but it's oh so absurd
For you to say the first word
So you're waiting and waiting

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO FAKE TALES OF SAN FRANCISCO

Fake Tales of San Francisco
Echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco
Without a bride or groom
There's a super cool band yeah
With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rockstars in the toilets
Practicing their lines

I don't want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear, you know
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you
I don't want to hear your...

Fake Tales of San Francisco
Echo through the air
And there's a few bored faces at the back
All wishing they weren't there

And as the microphone squeaks
A young girl's telephone beeps
Yeah she's dashing for the exit
And she's running to the streets outside
Oh you've saved me, she screams down the line
The band were fucking wank
And I'm not having a nice time

I don't want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear, you know
(Kick me out, kick me out)

Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though
So all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf

He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar
I don't quite know the distance
But I'm sure that's far
Yeah I'm sure that's pretty far

And yeah, I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Yeah

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO I BET YOU LOOK GOOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR

Stop making the eyes at me, I'll stop making the eyes at you
And what it is that surprises me is that I don't really want you to
And your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night)
Oh, but you're an explosion (you're dynamite)
Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand
And lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don't know if you're looking for romance or
I don't know what you're looking for
I said*, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

I wish you'd stop ignoring me, because it's sending me to despair
Without a sound, yeah, you're calling me, and I don't think it's very fair
That your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night)
Oh, but you're an explosion (you're dynamite)
Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand
Lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don't know if you're looking for romance or
I don't know what you're looking for
I said*, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

Oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets
Are just banging tunes and DJ sets and...
Dirty dancefloors, and dreams of naughtiness!

Well, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
I don't know if you're looking for romance or
I don't know what you're looking for
I said, I bet that you look good on the dancefloor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
From 1984!

*

VIDEO CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO THE VIEW FROM THE AFTERNOON

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before

I want to see all of the things that we've already seen
Lairy girls hung out the window of a limousine
Of course it's fancy dress
And they're all looking quite full on in bunny ears and devil horns and hats

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before

I want to see all of the things that we've already seen
I want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine
And put it all back in
You've got to understand that you can never beat the bandit no

And she won't be surprised, no she won't be shocked
When she's pressed the star after she's pressed unlock
And there's verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you've drank a lot

And you should bear that in mind tonight, bear that in mind
Yeah, you should bear that in mind tonight, bear that in mind
And you can pour your heart out but her reasoning will block
Owt you send her after nine o' clock

Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before

And she won't be surprised, no she won't be shocked
When she's pressed the star after she's pressed unlock
And there's verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you've drank a lot

And you should bear that in mind tonight, bear that in mind
Yeah, you should bear that in mind tonight, bear that...

And you can pour your heart out aroud three o'clock
When the 2 for 1's undone the writers block

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, VIDEO

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO WHO THE FUCK ARE ARCTIC MONKEYS?

We all want someone to shout for
Yeah, everyone wants somebody to adore
But your heroes aren't what they seem
When you've been where we've been

Have I done something to trigger
The funny looks and the sniggers?
Are they there at all, or is it just paranoia?

Everybody's got their box
Doing what they're told
You pushed my faith near being lost
But we'll stick to the guns
Don't care if it's marketing suicidal
Won't crack or compromise
Your do-rights or individes
Will never unhinge us

And there's a couple of hundred
Think they're Christopher Columbus
But the settlers had already settled
Yeah, long before ya

Just cos we're having a say-so
Not lining up to be playdoh
Oh, in five years time, will it be
"Who the fuck's Arctic Monkeys?"

'Cause everybody's got their box
Doing what they're told
You pushed my faith near being lost
But we'll stick to the guns
Don't care if it's marketing suicidal
Won't crack or compromise
Your do-rights or individes
Will never unhinge us

[Instrumental]

(La la la la la, la la)
(La la la la la, la la)
(La la la la la, la la)

All the thoughts that I just said
Will linger round and multiply in their head
Not that mad to start with
I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed

It's not you it's them that are wrong
Tell 'em to take out their tongues
Tell 'em to take out their tongues...

It's not you it's them that are wrong
Tell 'em to take out their tongues
Tell 'em to take out their tongues
And bring on the backlash!

It's not you it's them that are wrong
Tell him to take out his tongue
Tell him to take out his tongue
It's not you it's them that's the fake
I won't mess with your escape
Is this really your escape?

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO NO BUSES

Lady, where has your love gone?
I was looking but can't find it anywhere
They always offer when there's loads of love around
But, when you're short of some, it's nowhere to be found

Well, I know your game, you told him yesterday
No chance, you'll get nothin' from me
But now she's there, you're there, everybody's there
He's in turmoil, as puzzled as can be
Just like me

Let's go down, down, low down
Where I know I should not go
Oh and she thinks she's the one
But she's just one in 24
And just 'cause everybody's doin' it
Does that mean that I can, too?

Lady, where has your love gone?
It was the anti-septic to the sore
To hold you by the hand
Must be first, be in demand
How he longs for you to long for him once more
Just once more

Let's go down, down, low down
Where I know I should not go
Oh and she thinks she's the one
But she's just one in 24
And just 'cause everybody's doin' it
Does that mean that I can, too? Oh...

Her eyes went down and cut you up
And there's nothing like a dirty look from
The one you want, or the one you've lost

An ache in your soul is everybody's goal
To get what they can't have
That's why you're after her
And that's why she's after him
But sayin' it wont change a thing
And they'll realise that it wont change a thing
Realise that it wont change a thing

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO DESPAIR IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE

He's pining for her
In a people carrier
There might be buildings and pretty things to see like that
But architecture won't do
Although it might say a lot about the city or town
I don't care what they've got keep on turning them down
It don't say the funny things she does
Don't even try and cheer him up, because
It just won't happen

He's got the feeling again
This time on the aeroplane
There might be tellys in the back of the seats in front
But Rodney and Del won't do
Although it might take your mind off the aches and the pains
Laugh when he falls through the bar
But you're feeling the same
'Cause she isn't there to hold your hand
She won't be waiting for you when you land

It feels like she's just nowhere near
You could well be out on your ear
This thought comes closely followed by the fear
And the thought of it
Makes you feel a bit
Ill

Yesterday I saw a girl
Who looked like someone you might knock about with
And almost shouted
And then reality kicked in within us
It seems as we become the winners
You lose a bit of summat
And half wonder if you won it at all

And don't say 'owt 'cause you've got no idea
And she's still nowhere near
And the thought comes closely followed by the fear
And the thought of it
Makes you feel a bit
...Ill

Despair in the departure lounge
It's one and they'll still be around at three
No signal and low battery
What's happened to me

CONCERTI ARCTIC MONKEYS, TESTO CIGARETTE SMOKER FIONA

Sat at the side of the pool at one of your houses
With wet white trousers on
And worlds collide as the evening continues
The dignity fucks off

Her brother's gone off to the strippers
To make up for all the lost time
She could have been one of the bitches
But she's actually alright

(Cigarette smoker)
I'm sorry, but we're all unsure
How much you've had but
(We think that you oughta) maybe not have any more

A country home, even if we really tried
What if it's just surprises now?
And I bet your dad would like to give us all a slap
When are your parents back? d'you know?

Well I never came from no ghetto
But it wasn't nowhere near here
Well-spoken girls in stalletoes
Aren't something to fear

(Cigarette smoker)
I'm sorry, but we're all unsure
How much you've had but
(We think that you oughta) maybe not have any more

[Instrumental]

(Cigarette smoker)
I'm sorry, but we're all unsure
How much you've had but
(We think that you oughta) maybe not have any more

(Cigarette smoker)
Cigarette smoke doesn't hide
As well as you think
And you'd think that it oughta
Act as the perfect disguise